For Life
by SkyeRose
Summary: When a young girl bursts into the precinct closely followed by a gun-wielding gang member, the Special Victims Squad learns what it means to be in a gang. And what happens when you try to get out. EO. Possible JC. DISCONTINUED.
1. Chapter 1

**For Life**

**Chapter 1: You Can Never Be Too Careful**

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own. But, maybe…someday… **

**Well, Samantha is mine.**

**A/N: Hey, guys! This idea has been rolling around in my head for a little while now, and I figured it was time to put it on paper. I know I'm in the middle of Urban Legends, but I figured I would try multi-tasking.**

**This chapter is kind of like a tester. If you guys don't like where I'm going with this or the idea seems too ludicrous, let me know. And I'll tell you guys right now, it is EO. Not right away, but eventually. (Like I would write anything else!!!)**

**So, who else is bumming cause of the writer's strike? Don't get me wrong, I'm on their side, but no SVU sucks! Actually, no new TV shows sucks. Just think, no SVU till September. If the strike has ended by then. Unless it already has…? No, but I agree that they need more credit. It sucks that it is all their hard work and they hardly ever get mentioned. Power to you guys!!**

**So…without further ado…**

**Enjoy Lotsa!!**

Samantha's footsteps echoed off the damp stone walls of the alley. She never used the back alley's of the city because she was deathly afraid of them. Sam was terrified of becoming one of those stories in the paper that told the tale of the girl who was walking in a dark alley and got raped or murdered. It was too cliché. Sam swore that if she was going to die she was going to go out with a bang.

"Frick!" she muttered as her pepper spray can slipped from her hand, clattered to the floor, and rolled beneath a dumpster. She looked around to make sure she was alone before she bent over to see if the can could be easily retrieved.

As she scanned the rank street surrounding the dumpster she thought she heard something. Straightening automatically, her head narrowly missed the edge of the dumpster. Sam strained her ears and, sure enough, she heard another, quietly echoing footstep. Her breathing quickened and adrenaline roared in her ears. The blood drained from her face as she stood stock-still, listening. Sam heard it again, but, this time, it was closer and the pace was quicker.

Taking a deep breath, she started down an alley that would take her to the main street. Walking as quickly and as quietly as possible she prayed that whoever was behind her didn't follow. But, she could still hear the footsteps. Sam walked faster, but she still couldn't see the end of the alley.

On the verge of full blown panic, she pulled out her cell phone. She quickly dialed 9-1-1 and glanced behind her. No shadow crept across the wall, but that didn't mean that someone wasn't there.

…………………………………………………………………………………

Olivia Benson and her partner, Elliot Stabler, sat at their desks going over their last case. They had caught the guy, so the case was closed, but they had neglected their DD-5s until the last minute.

"I'm gonna get some coffee, want some?" Elliot asked standing up. He stretched and stepped from behind his desk.

"Ummmm, no, actually." Elliot glanced at her in surprise. "Once I finish this I'm gonna head up to the crib to get some sleep." Olivia clarified.

"Why the crib?" Elliot asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "You have a perfectly apartment." He sat back down.

Olivia averted her eyes. "I know. But, by the time this damn report is finished, I'll only be able to go home for three hours before I have to be back here."

Elliot nodded. "Well, it looks like we'll be bunk buddies. I'm not really up to going home right now, either."

Somehow, even without her saying anything, he knew that she didn't really want to be alone. He always did.

"Done." She said triumphantly a minute later.

"And done." Elliot said right after her.

Olivia rubbed her eyes and yawned as she stood. "I'll print it in the morning. Right now, I just want some sleep."

Elliot agreed. They were almost to the bottom of the stairs when the phone rang.

**TBC**

**A/N: Short chapter, I know. Please review and let me know what you think!!!**

**Happy Superbowl Everyone!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: A "Break" Through**

**Disclaimer: WooHoo! Dick Wolf has just handed the rights over to me! Heh…..not really. He still owns, but one day…one day. Only Samantha is mine.**

**A/N: Hey, sorry I took so long to update. I've been thinking…I might broaden my horizons. With fanfiction, I mean. My next story probably won't be about SVU. I'm not sure yet. Oh well. What do you guys think?**

**Did everyone have a good Valentine's Day? If any of you had a particularly romantic one, tell me about it. Might inspire me to write more EO romance. Nothing dirty PLEASE!!!! Something like your first kiss or if your 'special someone' proposed to you. Thanks!**

**I've actually never been kissed. Rather, I've never let anyone kiss me. Heh, heh. Oh well. I'm a kiss virgin and proud of it!!!!**

**Well, here's the next chapter. It moves at a good pace.**

**EN-FREAKIN-JOY!!!!! ******

Olivia sighed and went back to her desk. "Special Victims. Benson"

"Detective Benson, we've got a minor on the line. Says she is being followed." A smooth voice replied.

"Put her through." Olivia sat down, her full attention on the phone. Elliot stood behind her. His stance was protective, as though he was trying to protect her from whatever danger lay on the other side of the call.

"You've gotta help me!" the panicked voice of a girl came on the phone suddenly. "Please!"

"Okay, slow down. My name's Detective Benson, but you can call me Olivia."

"I'm Sam." She answered automatically.

"Sam," Olivia repeated. "What's going on? Do you know where you are?"

"I think I'm being followed." Sam's voice shook. "I can't see them, but I can hear them. Oh my God…!" she was panicking.

"Sam? Sam! Listen to me. Don't panic. Stay focused on my voice. Now, where are you?"

……………………………………………………………………………………..

Sam finally emerged onto the main street. It was completely deserted. She had finally gotten through to someone who could help her. Detective Benson sounded kind and very self-assured. She answered to detective's question.

"I'm on the corner of Luxe and 38th street."

"Good. Listen, Sam. You're very close to the precinct that I'm in. Go right, okay? Hurry Sam! You're almost safe."

Sam turned right and was halfway to the precinct when the footsteps behind her sped up. Whoever it was, they were running.

"Shit!" Sam breathed as her throat closed with fear.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Olivia had just switched to the portable phone when she heard the girl swear. "Sam!" Olivia called into the phone as she and Elliot hurried down the hall and into the elevator. The phone connection wavered a little, but didn't disconnect.

"They know where I'm headed! They're running!" her terrified reply came back. The detectives burst from the elevators doors and ran into the hall.

A gunshot echoed down the street and was followed by a high-sharp yelp a second later. Another shot, and the glass of the precinct's front door shattered.

Elliot grabbed Olivia and pulled her behind a wall in case anymore shots were fired. Another second later they heard the door fly open and the sharp breathing of a petrified individual audible. Elliot and Olivia sprinted around the wall and saw Sam about 15 feet from the door. She had long gold hair that fell halfway down her back and ended in loose curls. Her eyes were a gorgeous shade of aquamarine with a unique almond shape. Her skin was smooth and had a natural bronze tan. Sam was wearing a brown tank top with dark blue jeans and old-fashioned converse. All things considered, she was absolutely stunning, with a modelesque figure and elegant grace.

A figure appeared in the doorway, gun in hand. Elliot raised his own gun and shouted, "Drop it! Drop the gun and stepped away, hands in the air.

The stranger stood still for a moment before pointing his gun at Elliot. Elliot's eyes widened as he tensed for the oncoming bullet. Three things happened simultaneously. He heard the explosion of gun powder as the stranger pulled the figure, he heard Olivia's scream of protest and helplessness. Then, he felt himself being pushed sideways as Sam yelled, "No, you idiot!" Who she was calling an idiot, himself or the gun-wielding individual, Elliot didn't know.

Elliot watched as the bullet slammed into Sam's left shoulder; the impact sending her flying to the ground. Elliot raised his gun again, finger in the trigger well.

"No!" Sam yelled. "He's a suicide! Don't waste your bullets."

Sure enough, a millisecond later, the gunman put the barrel to his own head and, before Elliot or Olivia could stop him, he pulled the trigger. A dull thwack resounded in the hallway of the 1-6 precinct as he hit the ground.

**TBC**

**A/N: Whatcha think!! Let me know…please review!! I'm craving them!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Broken Glass and New Faces**

**Disclaimer: Please, Dick? Please? I'll give you a cookie! Good boy, just take the cookie and give me the show… What? You're allergic to chocolate? I'm sorry! I didn't know! Wait…wait! Damn. So close.**

**Not mine. As usual. Sad, right? Only Samantha is mine.**

**A/N: Hey, guys! I need more reviews! Please, I'm desperate!! Desperate!! Haha, just kidding…not really. But, I'm not as psycho as I sound. ******

**PLEASE READ!!!**

**I just want to thank you guys. I want to thank and congratulate you all. You guys work so hard to write these stories and keep the shows alive. Whether fanfiction is cathartic for you or just a fun pastime, you guys are all amazing. I appreciate everything you guys do. I also want to congratulate you guys because you go where no one else dares to go. You take huge chances and risks that everyone else is afraid to take. So thank you all so much!**

**Okay, so now that all my sappiness is gone lets get to business, shall we? I'm writing this chapter off the top of my head so I have only a vague outline of how it is going to go. Wish me luck!!!**

**ENJOY MUCH MUCHLY MUCH!!!!!**

Olivia stared as the man shot himself and collapsed to the floor. Blood, bone, and brain matter spattered the wall behind him, turning the pale blue precinct walls a sickly brown color. A shuddering breath to her right caused Olivia to look around. Sam was lying on the floor looking utterly spent. Her face was contorted in agony and her body kept tensing and relaxing as the pain from the bullet washed over her in waves. Small beads of sweat had formed on her brow and a small trickle of blood escaped from the corner of her mouth.

Elliot was still kneeling a little ways away, gun pointed at the spot where the gunman had been. His eyes were a dark grey and slightly distant. She knew what he was thinking; he was in disbelief that the guy had actually shot himself and, when Olivia saw him glance at the girl lying prone on the floor, she knew he was blaming himself. She knew he was thinking that if he hadn't frozen or had reacted faster when pulling the trigger, Sam wouldn't have been shot.

Olivia dropped to her knees at Sam's side and dialed for a bus. She gave her name, badge information, and location and was told that the bus was on its way. Elliot was on the other side of the girl pressing his jacket to her shoulder. The bleeding tapered, but didn't completely stop flowing. Sam was becoming paler by the minute and her hands were growing cold.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Sam coughed. Her throat was clogged with warm blood and shoulder was absolutely agonizing. She tried to sit up, but two pairs of hands immediately held her down. One pair was smaller and thinner than the other. That must be the woman's, or Detective Benson's, hands. The other pair, the man's, were bigger, stronger, and slightly warmer than Benson's. Sam struggled futilely for another minute before giving in to the detective's will.

She opened her eyes and immediately regretted it. The lights above her were too bright; the walls to close. She could hear sirens outside and was aware that the two detectives above her were conversing in quiet, urgent whispers.

"Please…" Sam choked, blood filling her throat again. The detectives looked down. "Please, help me…"

Unsure that they had heard the girl correctly Elliot asked, "What?"

"He was just the first. They'll send more. Please…I…I don't want to die…" Sam's voice was barely audible.

"You're going to be fine. The ambulance is outside; you'll be at the hospital in no time." Olivia assured her.

"No, you don't understand…" Sam's grew a little stronger in exasperation. "I'm not worried about the bullet. I'm worried about what's going to happen when they send more. They'll come back. They'll keep coming until I'm dead."

Olivia's blood ran cold as she looked at Elliot. Who was 'they'? Why was Sam so afraid? What kind of danger was she in? These questions were running through her mind all the way to the hospital. She and Elliot had ridden with Sam to the hospital and they were now waiting in the main reception area to find out how she was doing.

"Who do you think she meant when she said 'they'?" Olivia asked Elliot as she leaned back in her chair, arms crossed over her chest.

"I don't know. Maybe she was just hallucinating. She'd been shot, for Christ's Sake, and she'd lost a lot of blood. I wouldn't be surprised if she was just having a waking nightmare." Elliot said, though not entirely convinced himself.

"Maybe…" Olivia trailed off.

"Detectives?" a nurse from behind the desk called. Elliot and Olivia stood and walked to the counter. "Um, Samantha is doing fine; the bullet was lodged under her shoulder blade, but they were able to successfully remove it. Her shoulder should be good as new in a month or so after some physical therapy…" the nurse's voice trailed and she glanced down at her hands.

Elliot and Olivia glanced at each other. The nurse was definitely not telling them something.

"Anything else?" Elliot prompted slightly sarcastic.

The nurse flinched. "Uh, she was taken to her room, but she's…uh… missing."

Olivia blanched. "What do you mean, 'missing'? Were there any signs of a struggle?"

"Well, no." the nurse faltered a little, still looking at her hands. "She was seen leaving of her own volition."

"What do you mean? She was just shot! How the hell did she get up and walk away?" Elliot replied angrily.

"And what do you mean, 'she was seen'? Why didn't anyone stop her?" Olivia jumped in.

"I-I don't know." The nurse muttered. She looked up only to find the detectives racing into the OR. "W-wait! Detectives! You can't go back there! You can't…!" Oh, what the hell. They weren't listening to her anyway.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Sam gasped for air as she shoulder sent another shattering wave of pain through her body. The sudden stitch in her side caused her to double over, almost falling to the floor. She regained her balance and sped off again. She had no idea what part of the hospital she was in and she had no idea where she was going. All she knew was that she had to get as far away as possible. She sprinted down another hallway and ran smack into a doctor. Well, she assumed he was a doctor; he was wearing a white lab coat and he was carrying a clipboard, but she didn't stick around to find out if she was right. She continued down the hall even as she heard the man behind her.

"Wait! Stop! What are you doing?" the man shouted after her. Another blinding burst of pain coursed through her body. Her legs stiffened and she fell headlong into a gurney. Luckily she landed on the right side, so her shoulder cushioned most of the fall. Sharp, paralyzing pain resounded through her shoulders and down her spine. 'No,' she thought as she dragged herself to her feet. 'This was not a good idea at all.'

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

Elliot heard a man yelling 'Stop!' He grabbed Olivia's wrist as pulled her down the hallway that the command was coming from. Olivia followed, but couldn't help notice that odd flush that heated her face when Elliot held her wrist, and they way her skin was still heated where he touched her. Thankfully, he didn't seem to have noticed her reaction to his simple gesture.

"Who are you shouting at?" Elliot practically yelled at the man who had shouted.

"A girl! She just ran into me!" the doctor answered looking slightly flustered.

"Which way did she go?" Olivia asked impatiently. The doctor pointed to the hallway to Olivia's right. "Thanks!" Olivia yelled over her shoulder as she and Elliot ran down the hallway.

Without warning, Olivia, who was a step ahead of Elliot, slipped and fell backwards. She was caught, however, long before she hit the ground. Two strong hands landed on her waist, steadying her. She turned to face Elliot, but looked down as the odd flush returned. A glimpse of smeared red caught her eye.

"Elliot…" Olivia breathed and pointed.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Elliot saw Olivia slip, her arms unsuccessfully splayed for balance, and her feet go out from under her. No sound escaped her lips as she began her backward descent. Without thinking, Elliot reached for her, catching her before she could hit the ground. He was unprepared for the jolt he felt when his hands wrapped around her waist. He was also unprepared for the flush he saw in Olivia's cheeks, before she looked down.

Shaking off the strange feeling his heart skipped a beat when he heard Olivia gasp. Automatically thinking the worst, he reached for his gun. But following her gaze he saw why she had gasped; blood. And a lot of it.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sam moaned as she pushed open the door to the roof. Those stairs had been murder. She was sure that she had been captured on the hospital's video camera system covered in blood and running down the halls like a maniac. She fully expected hospital personnel to come bursting through the door to take her back to her room. But…no one came.

The strange thing was, it wasn't even her blood that soaked her hospital gown. When she had run into that damn gurney she had knocked a container filled with vials of blood. Most had shattered on her, but a few landed on the floor. She could only hope that no one slipped on the bloody puddle.

But, with her luck half the hospital staff probably had slipped chasing after her. Oh, there is going to be hell to pay if she gets caught. Lawsuits and medical bills up the wazoo.

Oh well. That blood was probably infected with HIV or some other devastating disease that was now coursing through her own veins. Feeling suddenly sick she leaned over the side of the hospital ready to toss her stomach contents when a noise behind her froze her roiling stomach. No, not here…not now…

…………………………………………………………………………………….

"The hell?" Elliot asked forgetting the 'what' in his surprise.

"No. It's not hers." Olivia suddenly said, pointing to the smashed glass surrounding the now cold liquid. "She must have knocked them over when she was running."

Elliot nodded, still unable to meet Olivia's eyes. He felt guilty, but in reality, knew he had done nothing wrong. He had stopped his partner from falling. At the word partner he grimaced inwardly. Yeah…partner…okay.

"Elliot?" Olivia waved her hand in front of his eyes. He had just completely zoned on her. "You in there?" she teased as he met her gaze.

"Yeah. Sorry." Elliot shook his head and peered around Olivia. "Where do you think she's headed?"

"Well, if it were me…I'd head for the roof." Olivia said matter-of-factly. The two partners headed down the corridor looking for the door marked 'Roof Access.'

……………………………………………………………………………….

Even above the cold, whistling wind, there was no mistaking the barely audible click of a gun being cocked. 'No…' her mind whispered.

The world around her faded as she turned to face the one she had once devoted her life to. The one to which she had devoted her heart. But, not anymore. Not ever again. Looking into his eyes she saw the blatant hurt, betrayal, and pleading in his eyes. Yes, she had run out on him… on them and, yes, she probably deserved what was inevitably coming to her, but she hadn't wanted to love him in the first place. She was so young after all, to be in love…to go through that grueling initiation.

"Why?" his voice snapped her back to her present situation. His tone was low and wounded. She had really hurt him…!

"I had no choice!" Sam said, her voice forceful. "I was in over my head, ZJ! I'm only 16! I didn't know what I was doing!"

"You didn't need to know! I was there! I swore to protect you! I swore to guide you! I swore to love you!" ZJ shouted back, his eyes glistening. Whether it was because of unshed tear or madness, Sam didn't know.

"I know. I'm sorry!" She shouted back. "I thought I could live like that, but I couldn't, ZJ! I'm my own person! I wanted to live my own life; not yours…not ours!" she flung those last words at him with the sole intent to hurt him. He had hurt her so much in the last three years.

ZJ stumbled back as though he was in physical pain. "Why, Sam? Why did you leave? I gave you everything you wanted! We were happy; me, you, and the others! We were our own family! Why did you abandon us?"

Sam chose her next words carefully. "Because I don't love you. I never did." Her voice was low, but she knew that he had heard her. His eyes widened and his grip on the gun slipped momentarily. Sam took advantage of his shock ran the few feet to the hospital's fire escape ignoring the deep pains in her shoulder. She grasped the cold metal and slid to the next landing.

Above her, she heard the gun go off and ZJ's anguished cry. She pressed herself against the cold brick wall making herself as small as possible so he wouldn't see her. The wind was kicking up and the dark clouds that had been blossoming in the distance were descending upon them. Lightning flashed across the sky seemingly ripping the clouds and releasing the frigid downpour. Whimpering, Sam huddled closer to the wall as thunder shook the building's windows and reverberated through her own body.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

Elliot was the one who had spotted the roof door. He gestured to Olivia, careful not to grab her arm, wrist, hand, or…anything else. They slowly ascended the stairs fearful of finding Sam huddled in a corner dead or dying. But, as they reached the door that led to the actual roof there was no sign of a body or blood. As Elliot reached for the handle the harsh explosion of a gun was heard through the door.

Elliot and Olivia ducked instinctively and both pulled their own guns. Counting to three Elliot kicked the door with such force it nearly came off its hinges. What they hadn't expected was the flash of lightning, crack of thunder, torrent of icy rain, and strong wind.

Olivia squinted against the unexpected elements, but followed Elliot as he forged ahead. Both pointed their guns at a dark figure that was leaning over the side of the hospital. Even from this distance Olivia could tell that it wasn't a young woman's figure. It was a man's. Tall, probably 6'2 or 6'3 with a thin, muscular build.

"Freeze!" Elliot shouted and inwardly thought ,'Kinda hard not to in this weather.' "Drop the gun!"

The man gave no indication that he had heard him. He was very intent on what he was doing. Presumably, he was looking for Sam. It didn't take a genius to figure that one out; after all, she had said that 'they' would be coming for her.

"I said, 'Freeze!'" Elliot repeated shouting at the top of his lungs. This time, the man heard him. He visibly stiffened and turned slowly. He kept the gun at his side, but they couldn't see his face from here. He was a wild card, but they had no idea if he had been dealt a full deck.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

ZJ's face disappeared from above her. She was sure that he had seen her, but, apparently, he hadn't. Slowly standing up, realizing that this could just be a trick to lure her into the open, she carefully climbed the ladder leading back onto the roof. She was halfway up when she heard their voices. Her eyes widened. Benson and Stabler...!

……………………………………………………………………………………….

"Drop the gun! Now!" Olivia commanded her voice strong against the rain. When that got no reaction she opted for intimidation. "If you don't drop it I swear I will pull this trigger!" The man's hand twitched, but he didn't let go. Instead he yelled back.

"You! It's all your fault!" He pointed his free hand at Elliot and Olivia. "You convinced her to leave! You took her away from me…from us!" he shouted, pain and sadness laced with anger.

"What are you talking about? Who left you?" Olivia asked to distract him. Elliot was inching to the right; he was going to get the guy from behind. A flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye stopped him in his tracks. 'Sam!' he thought. She was holding on to a rickety metal ladder that was sticking out of the building in the middle of a _lightning_ storm? Was she insane? If her foot slipped she would surely fall to her death.

Olivia saw Elliot stop, but kept her attention on the man who had identified himself as ZJ. Surprised that he had given his name Olivia told him as much. He had answered with a curt, "It's not. It's a codename." He had added a choice word to the end of his statement and Olivia had to really fight not to pull the trigger.

"Just put the gun down." Olivia called soothingly, persuasively. ZJ smiled a cruel, knowing smile. He tossed his gun to the side, smile still in place. As Elliot moved to cuff him ZJ took a step backwards. He was dangerously close to the edge. One more step and he would fall.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

Sam saw ZJ's tall form step onto the roof's ledge. She knew what he was going to do an instant before he did it. He turned his head skyward and shouted, "Sam! I can't live without you!" and took that last step. He plummeted to earth at a heart-wrenching speed. Sam's scream drowned out the sickening thud that was his body hitting the ground.

Bowing her head and whispering a silent prayer, Sam hoped that ZJ had felt no pain. Sure, he was a bastard, and, true, she didn't love him, but he had taken care of her when she needed him most. She would always care for him, but she would always despise him as well. Climbing the last few feet to the roof she swung her lungs onto the solid cement of the ledge.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Elliot and Olivia watched as ZJ went over the ledge. Running forward a little she cringed as a gut-wrenching scream sliced the air. Elliot grimaced too. There was a moment of heavy silence before a young woman pulled herself up from the fire escape and stood on the roof's ledge. Her hospital gown was soaked and clinging to her body despite the strong wind. Her long hair, now darkened with rain, whipped around her face and billowed out behind her. Her face was contorted with physical pain, horror, and relief. She jumped down from the ledge and landed cat-like on the solid roof.

The detectives ran forward and helped Sam to her feet. With one last glance over her shoulder at the place where ZJ had stood moments ago, she let the detectives lead her inside.

**TBC**

**A/N: Hey, I wrote this off the top of my head so I have no idea how it turned out. Please, please, please review!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: On an Ocean of Unseeing**

**Disclaimer: What I wouldn't give…haha! Only Sam is of belonging to me!!!!!**

**A/N: Well, I did I branched out! I've been writing things other than SVU!!**

**I wrote this chapter off the top of my head as well, so I don't know how it's going to turn out. Anyway thanks for reviewing guys!! And the best part, I've gotten 1126 hits on this story!! (So how come there are only 8 reviews?) Just kidding!**

**Thanks Guys and Gals!**

**ENJOY!!!**

Sam was touch and go for a week after her little excursion on the roof. She finally stabilized 10 days later. Her shoulder had developed an infection and she had caught a cold from being in the icy rain and wind, but that quickly snowballed into full blown pneumonia. She had been unconscious for most of the time other than her rare moments of startling lucidity. Her body often trembled while she slept, and once or twice she had a mild seizure. As the doctors began to fear that she might slip into an epileptic coma, she finally came out of it.

Elliot and Olivia had only been by once to check on her and find out more about ZJ. Apparently, he and his gang had taken Sam in when they found her huddled, half-dressed, on a New York sidewalk three years ago when she was just thirteen. After a day of rest they had began her initiation. They beat her for hours so, if she was ever caught by a rival gang, she wouldn't break. They raped her every night so she would never succumb to degradation. They had made her "strong." Or at least, they liked to think they had.

"I prayed for death every night." Sam had said in one of her few waking moments. "I couldn't handle what they were doing to me. Every time they touched me I would scream inside. When they looked at me I felt naked and dirty even if it was just a simple glance. I wanted to die, but I wanted them dead even more. I once thought…" But she had fallen back into the ocean of sleep.

Munch, Fin, and Lake had been doing all they could to find out more about the gang. As long as they remained anonymous and at large Sam was in danger. But, so far, the search had yielded nothing. Sam refused to say the name of the gang, but the doctors told them not to worry too much. They had said she was still frightened and felt, in her weakened state, completely helpless. Once she got better she would be more forthcoming.

Or so they hoped.

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Sam was so tired. She could no longer tell time or differentiate between night and day, and had given up trying. Always floating on an ocean of unseeing and unfeeling was comforting. It gave her a much needed reprieve from her entire life, not just the last three years. She had deliberately neglected to tell the detectives why she was huddled on the streets half- naked. And, unless she had to, Sam planned to take that knowledge with her to the grave. Even if that happened to be sooner rather than later.

**TBC**

**A/N: Sorry it was such a short chapter. Just some background on our leading mystery lady.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Physically, Yes…Emotionally…**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. I wish, but not of belonging to me.**

**A/N: Hey, sorry I was gone for so long!! I'm in a production that my Drama Club is putting on and I feel so wiped. Whooo…! This is, like, the first free moment I've had. Anyway, no excuses. This chapter is totally off the top if my head. I only have a vague idea of where I'm going with this story.**

**Bwahahahahaha!! More fun for you. The surprise will be great. Or terrible. Maybe…**

**So without further ado…**

**ENJOY!!!!!!**

Sam could hear the doctors and the detectives talking quietly outside her room. They thought she was asleep and Sam had felt no need to correct them. Technically, she should be sleeping, but she was too……anxious. She was always on edge, checking under her bed and behind the curtain that separated her section of the room to the adjoining half.

She laughed to herself. 'Yeah, like they would be hiding back there.' Shaking her head she quickly closed her eyes as she heard the hinges on the door creak quietly open.

"Do you think she's awake?" she heard the man cop, Elliot, ask.

"Probably." The woman, Olivia, replied. "The doctors said she has been in and out of it for the past three of four days."

"So even if she was awake, she wouldn't really be paying attention?" Sam could tell they were baiting her. She supposed that Olivia had nodded for Elliot continued. "Good, because we need to talk about the attack and ZJ."

Silence fell. They were clearly waiting for Sam to flinch, twitch, or show some kind of emotion. Sam held her composure and kept up the rhythmic three seconds in and three seconds out breathing. She waited, body tensed for whatever they would do next to prove she wasn't asleep.

Sam knew that they had wanted to talk to her. Ever since she had come bursting into their precinct followed by a gun-wielding psycho almost two weeks ago they had been focused solely on her. Waiting for her to get better; waiting for her to talk. She knew she would have to eventually; she owed them that much.

The uneasy twisting in her stomach grew as an uninvited thought settled into her mind. 'What if the detectives were involved now too? What if, because of her, they were as deeply entangled in the gang's affairs as she was? If they died it would be all her fault.'

Grimacing inwardly, she promised that she would die before her 'family' laid a hand on them. Sam knew she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she got these two innocent detectives killed. At that, a small, ironic smile played across her lips. 'Innocent? Maybe…maybe not…'

She had sensed the detective's closeness from the moment she had laid a brief glance upon them as she had run into the precinct. They both stood the same way, held their guns the same way, and looked at each other with the same understanding and compassion. However, over the last few days, Sam had stolen a few glances at them when they thought she wasn't looking. In Olivia's eyes there was warmth and empathy, but also a suppressed sadness. She had a dark past, Sam was sure. But when she looked at Elliot her eyes had a little less sadness in them. They brightened visibly and Sam couldn't tell if it was from tears or something within her.

Elliot's eyes were a little less warm, and a little more distant. There was a guardedness to the gleam in his eye and his stance. He was strong, but when he looked at Olivia he almost seemed to become a little less distant. Like, somehow, Olivia was the only one he would melt for. Like she was the only one that could break through his tough exterior.

Sam knew something was up. She may have only been 16, but she knew when someone was hiding feelings. She had often seen the same look in her own eyes aquamarine eyes as she looked in the mirror back when she lived with the gang. Except, the hidden feelings were anything but close. In her eyes there had been build-up if hate that had eventually darkened her eyes and caused them to have a wandering listlessness.

In the detectives eyes there was something that was very different from hate. If Sam wasn't mistaken she would say that it was…Love.

But, no. They were cops and there was a rule against interdepartmental relationships...wasn't there? 'Oh well.' Sam thought. 'My mind is probably just looking for some sort of love in the world. It probably projected itself into Elliot and Olivia because they seemed to genuinely care about me.'

Sam's eyes flew open as a sharp pain in her shoulder flooded through her thoughts. She looked around. A male nurse was standing at her side with a very long needle.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" he exclaimed seeming genuinely apologetic. "I didn't mean to wake you. I was just giving you the last dose of your heavy pain medication."

"But…I've never had them injected with a needle before." Sam looked around the room. The detectives were nowhere to be found.

"That's because you've been asleep every time we came in to give you the shot. Once this wears off we'll put you on a weaker painkiller that you can chew or swallow."

"Oh…" Sam trailed absently. She hadn't heard the detectives leave, but knew she hadn't fallen asleep. Or had she?

Sam looked up, her aqua eyes crashing into his clear spearmint-colored eyes. There was genuine care and concern there. But, her instincts told her that she couldn't trust anyone right now. Not even if they were undeniably good-looking.

Cocking her head, Sam asked, "What's your name?"

"Max." he replied. "Max Cordell."

Sam smiled. "I'm Sam. Sam Maitland."

"I know." Fear shot through her before she realized that he was gesturing to the chart in his hands. "Samantha Alexan Maitland. Female. Sixteen years old. Gunshot wound to the left shoulder. Last dose of Oxycodon to be administered at six p.m."

As he read off her chart she felt herself relaxing a little. Max had gorgeous green eyes that were filled with kindness and compassion. They had a sort of inner light emanating from them that caused them to almost glow. He had almost the exact same shade of hair as she did. It was thick and had natural waves that flowed easily. His golden bangs almost brushed his eyes and came to a blunt point at the nape of his neck. He was tall; 6'2 or 6'3 with a broad muscular chest and strong arms.

'Man, if we ever had kids, they'd be--,' She kicked herself mentally. 'Stop that! You just met the guy and he could be trying to kill you.'

But, Sam had never seen this man before. She knew that The Gang had outside operatives and was well aware that this could be one of them. 'Interrogate or flirt? Interrogate or flirt?'

Deciding on a mix of the two she asked, "So are you a doctor? I mean, you aren't wearing a coat." Sam pointed out.

"Me? Oh no! I'm not a doctor." He smiled and waved his hands in front of him to signal a big fat NO.

Ice shot through her veins and she looked into his eyes. She imagined that they were changing color, becoming black and bug-like. His mouth stretched and long slippery fangs dropped closer and closer to her skin. His hands become claws and reached for her throat.

"No!" Sam screamed. It was a long and wailing cry. She flung her arms in front of her face, but realized that the rest of her body was flailing about as well.

'What's happening?' she asked herself as she drifted into blackness.

'Is this what dying feels like?' Her last thought was barely more than a whisper that echoed off the suddenly silent depths of her subconscious.

**TBC**

**A/N: What did you think? Leave a review!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: A Waking…What…?**

**Disclaimer: Hahahahahahaha!!!! My plan has worked! I have tricked Dick Wolf into giving me the rights to SVU!! Here, in my hand, I hold the newest script for SVU!! I shall share it's glory with you all!!**

**(Opens folder) Wait, what the hell? A McDonald's menu? Damn…my plan has been foiled…again. Not mine.**

**A/N: Hey, what's up guys? Sorry, I haven't updated in, like, six days.**

**Anyway, I have some stuff I need to vent. Well, I'm doing this thing in Drama called the Short Attention Span Theatre. This means that there are a bunch of short plays that last no more than ten minutes separately. Well, the play that I'm doing is the worst one! I'm so upset and embarrassed. I was watching some of the other plays and they are amazing! Funny and dramatic! But…with mine…hardly any acting is required. It's, like, a bunch of people talking over and around and about each other. It's not that funny and not really dramatic. Plus, it's kinda hard to understand.**

**The worst thing is, is that one of my best friends got a really good role in one of the funniest plays. I'm extremely happy for her, but I'm jealous too. Not of her actual role, but because of the fact that it is such a good role. I'm not a jealous person at all. But, this is driving me crazy. Plus, my Drama teacher is driving me absolutely insane!!**

**Oh well. I've been telling myself that even well-established actors and actresses get bad roles every once and awhile. It's helping me a little. Ugh, how pathetic do I sound? Uh, wait…don't answer that. :D**

**Anyway, on a happier note, have you guys heard of a band called Family Force 5? They are amazing!! My favorite songs are Earthquake, Supersonic, Numb, and Face Down.**

**If you guys have any favorite bands or songs, please tell me! Sorry if that sounds weird, but I love music and movies and I am always open to trying something new!!**

**Okay, so I got this really cool idea for a story. Not necessarily the plot, but that type of story that it is. I'm not gonna tell you what it is right now…I don't want anyone beating me to it!! LOL. But, seriously, it's probably been done before, but I am not going through every story on the website.**

**Thanks for reading and being my sounding boards! Love Muchly!!**

**ENJOY MUCHLY MUCH AND LOTSA!!! (Haha, "Lotsa" rhymes with "Matzah!" Sorry, I'm tired.)**

Blinding white light slipped through the cracks in her half-closed eyes. It was too bright. Too white. Too clean. Her head was a huge mass of heavy, throbbing pain and her mouth was dry and sticky. She tried to move her hands, but found that she was quite incapable of moving them. Upon further testing, she realized that she, in fact, couldn't move her body at all.

Panic sliced through her pain and drowsiness, momentarily dimming them. Her eyes snapped open, but she immediately regretted it for her eyes stung and filled with salty tears. Blinking rapidly, her vision took a few moments to clear. Before it had, however, someone spoke.

"Good, you're awake."

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Elliot sat at his desk going over the Maitland case.

**TBC**

**A/N: Sorry for the abrupt ending. I'm too tired to continue this right now. I'm falling asleep as I'm typing. This is only, like, 1/8 of the chapter so I'll finish it soon. Maybe tomorrow. Sorry guys. I'll let the suspense eat you a little more…LOL:D**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6: A Waking…What…

**Chapter 6: A Waking…What…? (Part Two)**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long!! I hope it won't happen again!**

**Enjoy!!**

Elliot sat at his desk going over the Maitland case. This girl was really getting to him. She was only 16 years old, but she seems like she's been through so much. More than she should have at her age. He knew that a lot of teenagers were in gangs, and that Sam's case wasn't unusual. What really struck him as odd was how hard she had fought, and is still fighting, to get out of it.

She looks like such a fragile girl…but, Elliot knows more than anyone that looks can be deceiving.

He glanced at Olivia and felt his expression immediately soften. Maybe, sometimes, looks can be all too true.

………………………………………………………………………………………

The voice ripped through Sam again. "How are you feeling? Any better?"

Sam opened her eyes again, this time more slowly so as to avoid the blinding flash of light and looked around for the owner of the voice. Her eyes met bright green and her body tensed. Remembering what happened when she met Max before she shrank away from him.

"Whoa, whoa. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. Remember? I'm Max. Max Cordell?"

"You…you did this." It wasn't a question.

"What? No…no, ma'am! You had a seizure. You don't remember?" Realization dawned on him. "What do you think happened to you?"

"You…you turned…into something." Sam shook her head, trying to clear it. "You attacked me." She remembered the eyes…the clear green that turned black. And the fangs…

"No, Miss Maitland. I told you I wasn't a doctor and then you screamed and began seizing. I called for the doctors, but by the time they came you had already passed out. They put you back on oxygen and strapped you down…in case it happened again."

"Seizure?" Yes, she remembered flailing about, but that was because he tried to kill her…right? 'It must have been a hallucination!' Sam realized with sudden clarity. "Oh, Max…oh no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"Don't worry about it." Max said with easy nonchalance, though his eyes showed he was still concerned. "You gave me quite a scare, but I'll survive."

"I'm sorry." She felt her face heating with an embarrassed flush. 'I bet I looked just about when I had that seizure. All rigid and drooly.' 'Shut up!' She immediately countered her thoughts. It doesn't matter what he thought. He was probably well over 20 if he was working here.

"Hey, you okay? You're not seizing again, are you?" Max looked wary.

"No. Sorry. It's just…when you said you weren't a doctor…I sort of freaked. I don't know if you know why I'm here--,"

"I was briefed on the situation. It's my turn to apologize. I'm not a doctor…technically." At her questioning stare he explained. "My dad is the Chief of Medicine here. He's letting me do an internship even though I'm only 17."

Sam's heart skipped a beat.

Seventeen, huh? Well then.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

"Hey, El, I'm gonna make a coffee run. Want to come with?" Olivia called over her shoulder as she grabbed her coat.

"Sure." Elliot replied closing the Maitland file and standing up.

"Okay. I got your coat. You driving?"

"Of course."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Olivia asked jokingly.

"Only that I am here to serve you." Elliot replied raising his eyebrow and taking his coat from her.

"Good answer." Olivia smiled and followed him down to the car.

………………………………………………………………………………………

Munch and Fin watched this little exchange from their desks, which Munch had taken to calling The Conspiracy Corner because that's the only thing he and Fin seem to do here.

"Was that normal?" Fin asked looking at Munch quizzically.

"Define normal." Munch shot back.

"For them." Fin gestured at the place where Elliot and Olivia had just been. "Do they always act like that?"

"Well, they used to. Up until three or four years ago, maybe." Munch replied.

"Hmm. And then when Olivia went on that undercover thing…well, that didn't make their partnership or friendship any better."

"True dat." Munch said. Fin looked at him, lips pursed and eyebrow raised. "What? I can be hip."

"You're more likely to break yours." Fin muttered. "Damn…where's my pen…?"

"Haha. You're so funny. Here." Munch threw a pen at Fin. "From me to you. Sincerely."

"Gee." Fin sighed, laughing to himself. His partner was a handful.

**TBC**

**Sorry again for the delay!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Take Time to Realize

**Chapter 8: Take Time to Realize**

**Disclaimer: Not mine…as of yet…**

**A/N: So…I have no idea where I'm going with this story…so I guess we're going to see where it goes. But don't uh-oh just yet. I'll figure it out soon enough. So leave a review if you want, I'd love to get them!**

**So without further ado…**

**ENJOY MUCH!!**

Over the next couple of days Max spent most of his time in Sam's room. On and off the clock. It wasn't hard to like him. He was a genuine kind of guy. He really listened when she talked, and also gave great advice. She, in turn, did the same for him. They became fast friends.

"I don't want to." Sam laughed after fending off a second cup of jell-o. "That stuff tastes like crap."

"Oh? And I suppose you know what that tastes like?" Max teased, still waving the cup in front of her face.

"Yeah, cause I've eaten that!" she pointed to the empty jell-o carton.

"Nice. You know, that hurts." He put his hand over his heart and pouted. "As a member of the staff here I take offense to your refusal."

"I'm sure you do." She smiled and looked down. 'He really is a cool guy.' She thought. She had almost put all the romantic thoughts aside. Almost. Over the last few days she had realized that she had never had a friend before. Not really. Looking into his eyes her heart swelled for him. Not in an 'I-love-you' sort of way, but in an 'You-have-no-idea-how-grateful-for-you-I-am' kind of way.

Max had given her a glimpse if what real teenager-dome was like. What she might have had if she had never run away. What she might have had if she had had an innocent childhood.

Sam's smile faltered when she remembered how she had grown up. Max noticed the change on her face immediately. Her eyes darkened and got a faraway look in them. Her jaw was set and her hands were curled into fists.

"Sam?" he reached and touched her hand. She jumped and when her eyes met his he saw something feral there. Something dangerous. But, in an instant, it was gone.

"You know something, Max? I think I will have that jell-o." She smiled again and her eyes had softened.

"If you don't mind, I think I'll share it with you." Max smiled and grabbed for another spoon.

"Well, I do mind." Sam playfully grabbed the extra spoon from him and held it above her head.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well, then." Max placed a hand on the bed on either side her waist and leaned in close. "How am I going to argue with that?" he smiled and spoke softly.

Sam refused to get flustered. Leaning in even closer she said, "Nothing, cause I'm sick." She pouted.

"You are not!" Max laughed, but did not move back.

"Yeah-huh. I am too."

"Yeah, maybe in the head." He tapped her left temple.

"Shut up!" she shoved him, but he didn't budge. He gazed at her so intently she felt herself blush. "What?"

"Nothing." He said simply, but he continued to stare at her.

"Max." The deep voice behind them caused Max to jump and spin around and Sam to throw herself back onto the pillows.

"Dad." Max said laughing bashfully. He reached up and ruffled his hair in that "embarrassed boy" way.

"Max, what are you doing?" His father, Chief of Medicine Terry Cordell, said in a typical father voice. "I asked you to get the stats on Ms. Burberry an hour ago."

"I was just trying to get Sa--, I mean Miss Maitland here to eat some jell-o." Max avoided his father's eye.

"Yes, because that requires you to…what, feed her mouth to mouth?"

"Dad!" Max shouted and immediately flushed. "Dad, not now."

"I'm sorry, Max." His father glared at Sam over Max's shoulder. "Miss Maitland, excuse us." His voice was cold and Sam couldn't help but glare back.

He grabbed Max's elbow and as good as dragged him from the room. Outside he shoved him against the wall and grabbed his shoulders.

"What the hell did I just walk in on?" Dr. Cordell whispered harshly.

"Nothing. I was just having some fun." Max shrugged.

"Fun? That's what they call it now-a-days?" his father smirked cruelly.

"Dad! She's really cool. We're really good friends." Max tried to shove his father off of him.

"I don't ever want you in that room again."

"But, we didn't do anything! We were just hanging out. That's what friends do." Max finally pushed away from his father.

"Max, you can't trust her." His father scrubbed his face with his hands.

"Oh? And why is that?"

"She's…different Max. I just want the best for you, and she's not the best."

"What's that supposed to mean? She's the most kind and honest person I've ever met." 'Great.' Max thought. 'I sound like such a lovesick sap.'

His father just looked at him. Shaking his head and giving Max one last look of utter disappointment, he turned and walked down the hallway; disappearing into the breakroom.

"Max?" the soft voice from behind him caused him to start. He whirled around and saw Sam standing in the doorway, leaning on her IV line. She looked so frail in her oversized hospital gown…with all the wires snaking down her arms. "Max, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you and your father to…" Sam broke and off and made a vague gesture towards the break room. Max knew what she meant.

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault." He wasn't lying. It really wasn't her fault, but, still, he couldn't look her in the eye.

"I think it might be best if you do stay away from my room." Sam's voice betrayed no hint of emotion.

Max looked up sharply. His gaze collided with hers and he knew that she meant it. He also knew that she was just as upset about this as he was. "No way." He said. "My father can't control me like this…and he can't control you."

"Dammit, Max. I'm trying to do the right thing. I don't want you and your father to fight and I don't want you to lose your internship." She glared at him…willing him to listen to her. Willing him to just do as she said.

Max looked at her intently for a moment before making a decision. "Alright. But it's not permanent. I'm gonna talk to him. He'll agree…I know he will." He nodded with conviction. He only wished he felt as confident as he sounded.

Sam shook her head. "Max, you're the first friend I ever had. I am so grateful for you…you've no idea. But, your father's right. I am different. Anyone involved with me is in danger. I won't be responsible for anymore deaths." Sam paused trying to gather thoughts. " Maybe, when this is all over…when I figure out how to end this…maybe we can pick up where we left off."

"Which is where?" Max's tone was hard and his eyes were dark.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked dread icing through her.

Max seemed to consider her for a moment, then shook his head, eyes softening. "Nothing. I'm sorry, Sam. But, I don't want you to go through this alone. If you ever need me…you know where to find me."

"Yeah." But Sam knew she would never ask for his help, it was too dangerous. "See ya, Max."

"See ya." He replied as she walked back into her room and shut the door. Max had a funny feeling that this would be the last time he saw her for a very long time.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

The garbled squawking of her radio jarred Olivia out of her fitful sleep. She checked her watch: 3:30 am. She half groaned, half sighed.

"This is Benson." She said into the radio.

"Detective? We've received a call that a Samantha Maitland has been reported missing from Bellevue hospital. There is a tag on her chart that says we are to immediately inform you and your partner if in the event of her disappearance." A cool efficient voice relayed.

Anxiety laced through her veins. "Thank you. Any leads?"

"No ma'am." The clipped voice replied.

"Well, you know where to find me if anything turns up." Olivia concentrated on keeping the annoyance out of her voice. This woman's detached tone was getting under her skin.

"Yes, detective. Thank you." Then the radio spit static again and went silent.

"Ugh." Olivia fell back onto the pillow and glared at the ceiling above her. She could hear the muted voices of Munch and Fin probably talking about some inane subject. She looked at the cot next to her, where Elliot had been lying when she went to sleep late last night. It was empty.

Groaning again, she slid her legs over the side of the bed and placed her feet on the floor. She was that worried about Sam, she felt that the girl was okay. She was tough, but, still…

Olivia pushed herself to her feet and stretched. She slipped on her shoes and headed for the door back into the squadroom. When she was feet from the door it opened and Elliot stepped in.

"Liv, you're awake." He noted.

"Yes, very good." She shot back sarcastically.

"Well," he grinned. "We have a visitor."

"Huh?" Olivia watched him carefully.

Elliot stepped aside and someone stepped forward. Someone with azure eyes and gold hair. "Sam!" Olivia said, though not entirely surprised. "I just heard you were missing."

"Really?" Sam looked thoughtful. "I thought it would take them a lot longer to realize that I was missing."

"They're worried about you. You've put them through the ringer the past couple of weeks."

Sam grinned. "Yeah." Her eyes were gleaming and her grin widened. "I guess I have."

"So what do you plan on doing now?" Elliot asked.

"Well, I'm gonna have to find someplace to crash. I was hoping that I could sleep here tonight. Tomorrow, I'll start looking for something more permanent."

"We're really not supposed to let victims stay--," Olivia started, but Sam cut her off.

"First of all, I'm not a victim. Secondly…just don't tell anyone that I'm here."

Elliot shook his head. "You can't go off by yourself. We'll arrange something for you." He looked to Olivia for confirmation and she nodded her head. A look passed between them that Sam had no trouble reading.

"No way!" Sam said. Her eyes flashed and her stance immediately became defensive.

"No way what? You haven't even head what we were going to say." Olivia said.

"I am not going into Witness Protection."

"Sam, if these guys are serious about coming after you, we don't have a choice." Elliot shook his head.

"Forget it. I'm going to end this. I have to."

"And how do you plan on doing that?" Olivia cut in, anger seeping into her voice. "You…what? Plan to kill off a whole gang by yourself?"

"Sure, why not?" Sam replied fiercely.

"Because you're a kid, that's why!"

"So? I don't have a choice."

"Yes, you do. You can go into the WPP and--,"

"And what? Start over? No way." Sam crossed her arms over her chest and looked defiantly at Olivia. Olivia, in turn, sighed.

"We'll figure this out in the morning. Right now, I think you should get some sleep."

"I agree." Elliot said. "We'll figure this out, kay?"

Sam shrugged. "Alright."

"Pick a cot, any cot." Elliot gestured around the room.

Sam grinned. They really were just trying to help her.

"Goodnight, Sam." Olivia said as she followed Elliot to the door. He held it open for her. As Olivia walked by she brushed against his arm, a touch that would have usually gone unnoticed. But, this time, it felt like she had been zapped. Glancing at Elliot surprised expression, he too had felt the weird electricity.

Olivia laughed nervously and stepped away from him. "Sorry."

"No problem." Elliot replied in a forced casual tone. Turning to Sam he said, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." She replied and sat on the cot. She shook her head, amused. Were they really that oblivious? Or was it just an act? _'Lord, help them.' _Sam thought, smiling.

**TBC**

**A/N: Sorry guys, I'm too tired to write anymore tonight. I'll update soon! Please review! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: First Step

**Chapter 9: First Step**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**A/N: Sorry for the delay.**

**ENJOY MUCHLY!!**

"I think we should let her play this out. You know, her way." Elliot handed Liv a cup of coffee and leaned of the corner of her desk.

Olivia accepted the cup of coffee and shifted nervously at Elliot's close proximity to her. She realized what she was doing mid-shift and mentally kicked herself. Nothing had changed between them…so, why did she suddenly feel like a high school girl every time Elliot gets within talking distance? _'No, not suddenly.' _ She reminded herself. _'You know it's been happening for a long time. You don't believe your own rationalizations. That's the saddest thing of all.' _

Olivia shook her head in an attempt to clear away those "unbidden" thoughts. _'More like forbidden.' _Olivia thought sardonically. _'Stop it!' _Olivia slammed her cup down on her desk. It was a spontaneous movement. A physical action to emphasize her own shutting up.

Elliot stared at her surprise. "Liv? You okay? Is the coffee that bad? Geez, I didn't know Munch made it."

"I heard that!" Munch yelled from his desk.

"You were supposed to!" Elliot hollered back. Then, turning to Olivia he said quietly, "Liv, you sure you're okay?"

Olivia looked up at him with a slightly glazed look in her eyes. "Liv?" he tentatively laid a hand over hers.

""Wha…? Oh yeah, I'm fine." Taking her hand from under Elliot's she rubbed it over her forehead. Sighing, she said, "I guess I'm not completely awake yet."

"Right." Elliot said, though he didn't look at all convinced. But, knowing better than to push it, he changed the topic. "So what do you think?"

"Think? About what?" Olivia picked up her coffee and took a sip. Grimacing she called to Munch, "Did you make this coffee, Munch?"

"Ha ha ha." Munch called without looking up.

"What's so funny? I wasn't kidding." Olivia said quietly to Elliot.

"Man, you really were out of it." Elliot shook his head. "Anyway, I said that I think we should let Sam play this thing. Her way."

Olivia looked up sharply. "Excuse me? You think we should send a sixteen year old into a war that will almost definitely lead to her death?"

"Well, no--," Elliot began.

"No? Then what are you saying Elliot?"

"Okay, Liv. Calm down, alright?" He raised his hands in mock surrender.

"You know, Elliot, telling someone to calm down doesn't actually work. It actually makes them even more upset." She sighed and stood up. Pacing she said, "Oh, Elliot, I'm sorry. I just…I don't want this kid hurt."

"I know, I don't either. But, she won't stop fighting until there are no more bad guys left. She'll never be normal until all the people who hurt her are behind bars."

"Or dead." Olivia scrubbed her hands over her face. "If we let her fight Elliot, she'll do her best to kill them. And the resilience I've seen in her…I'd say she has a pretty good shot at putting them all in hell." Olivia stopped pacing and put her hands on her hips. "She has to go into the WPP, El."

Elliot sighed. "She won't go, Liv. If we force her into it, she'll bolt."

Olivia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I know. You're right." She opened her eyes and stared hard at Elliot. "So, what do we do?"

"I don't know, Liv." Elliot shrugged and fiddled with a dog-eared page on Olivia's desk. "God…she's just a little girl."

"Well, I wouldn't say that." When Elliot glanced at her questioningly she clarified. "I mean, what does being a girl have to do with it? I'd feel the same way even if it were a boy."

Elliot gave a short, humorless laugh. "I didn't mean anything by it, Liv. I know girls aren't weaker than boys. I work with you everyday; it wouldn't be possible for me to think girls are weak."

Olivia shook her head and pressed her palms to her eyes. "Jesus, I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm picking a fight with you."

"It's okay." Elliot reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder. He felt that weird electricity again. Both he and Olivia flinched. "Um…sorry about that. I must be static-y." It sounded lame even to his own ears.

"N-no problem." Olivia looked at the floor, refusing to meet his eyes.

"God, do you guys need a neon sign?" Sam was leaning against the banister, her chin cradled in her hand, staring at the two detectives with an unreadable expression in her eyes.

Munch and Fin cracked up, but Elliot and Olivia stared at her, confused.

"Seriously? Oh boy. And my survival rests in your hands? God help me." Sam smiled with sarcasm. Munch and Fin laughed again. "See? You guys get what I'm saying, right?"

Munch and Fin laughed again, but quieted when they saw the look on Elliot's face. "What?" Munch asked. "It's not our fault you're so…so…" he could not find a suitable way to end that sentence, so he let it trail.

"So…" Sam said jumping the last few steps. "It's almost morning. I think we need to get some breakfast."

When the four detectives just stared at her she put a hand on her hip in an 'are you serious?' fashion. "Okay, let's try this again. It's been a long night. For everyone, I'll assume. I think some of us should go to the nearest little breakfast place and pick up some breakfast. Then they'll bring it back here so everyone can enjoy some early morning sustenance."

"You're hungry?" Was all Elliot could ask.

"Well, you know, when all you've had to eat for the last few weeks is hospital-grade jell-o and sugar water fed through your IV…you'd be hungry too."

"I'm sorry. It's just…I thought you were sleeping." Elliot amended sitting on the edge of Olivia's desk again.

"Sleep? Now? No way." Sam laughed sarcastically.

"Why not? Now is as good a time as any for anything." Munch said, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Whoa." Sam stared at him. "I'm not sure if that was really deep…or really shallow."

"Really shallow." Fin supplied.

"Nice. Way to back up your partner." Munch said. "Next time a perp has you at gunpoint and you yell for help I'll say no on the basis of your problem being shallow."

"Now that doesn't even make sense." Olivia interjected.

"Whatever, John. You'll always be my Jew." Fin said as he threw a paper ball into the wastebasket.

"And you'll always be my boy." Munch replied hotly, throwing a paper ball at Fin.

"What?" Sam asked having listened to the entire exchange without an inkling of what they were talking about.

"Don't worry about it. Lover's spat." Elliot supplied grabbing his coat from the rack. "I'll make the breakfast run. You want in?" he asked Sam.

"Yep." Sam said already heading for the door. "I can't follow what these two are fighting about so my interest has waned a little."

"Liv? You game?" Elliot asked coming to stand behind her. She turned around and looked at the ceiling in exaggerated contemplation.

"Hmmmm…Let's see. Go get breakfast or stay here and watch these two _ladies--!_" she threw the last word over her shoulder, "duke it out." Olivia sighed and shook her head. "Trust me, I'd much rather go with you two, but someone should stay and play referee."

"Eh, you're probably right." Elliot resisted the urge to ask if she was sure. He had understood Sam's…comment, so no way was he giving any of the others anymore evidence against him. "Any requests?" he asked clearing his throat.

"Nah. You know what I like." Olivia replied, and, for a second, something glinted in her eyes. But, it was gone before Elliot could read it.

"'Kay. Be back in half an hour." Elliot turned when he had caught up to Sam just inside the door. "Munch! Fin! You want anything special?"

"No!" they both shouted grumpily.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

When the elevator doors had closed Sam let out a long sigh. "Geez, what were they fighting about?"

"Nothing special. They're always on each other's cases anyway." Elliot replied, shrugging. Munch and Fin fighting was no big deal, but he had to remind himself that Sam was not a cop and didn't know Munch.

"So the one with the ponytail is Detective Fin?" Sam asked leaning against the elevator wall.

"Detective Tutuola, actually. Fin is his first name."

Sam was silent for a second. "And the older one is Detective Munch? First name John?"

"Yes."

"And they always fight like that?" Sam asked as the elevator doors opened and they stepped into the hallway, and fell easily into step with Elliot.

"Yeah, it's pretty much their trademark." Elliot laughed quietly. _"How strange." _ He thought to himself. _"This is the first time I've really spoken to this girl, but I feel like I've known her for a long time." _

Elliot had also realized that he had stopped treating this girl like a victim and more like a…a fellow detective. _"That's ridiculous! She's sixteen! I shouldn't be treating her like another cop!" _But he couldn't help it. It felt wrong to treat her as anything less. She had already proven herself in several deadly situations. She didn't deserve to be treated like a victim.

Elliot glanced at her. She walked with a purposeful stride; her head held high, but her eyes glancing warily at everyone and everything. But, under the tough exterior he knew she was just a kid. A scared kid who had lost her faith in the world and it's inhabitants. He had only seen this side of her once.

It had been right after she was shot.

"Trademark, huh?" Sam nodded thoughtfully. "Well, if theirs is fighting…what's yours and Detective Benson's?"

Sam felt Elliot stiffen next to her. She had expected that.

"We…uh…we don't…" Elliot took a deep breath. "I don't really know, actually."

"Oh." Sam looked at him for a moment as they neared the door. "Maybe it's—Ack!" she was cut off when she collided with someone nearly a head taller than her.

Elliot reached out a hand to grab her, but she had already steadied herself. She was looking at the tall obstacle with a weird expression in her eyes.

"Max…?" Sam said tentatively. She posed it as a question, but there was no doubt about who the person was.

"Sam? What are you…I mean, what…?" He looked confused when all of a sudden his face changed and his voice became strained. "Oh no."

"Oh no?" Elliot repeated. He didn't know who the guy was, but Sam obviously did.

"Oh no what?" Sam echoed.

"Who told you?" Max asked, his eyes clouded with anger.

"Who…? Max, what are you talking about?" Sam asked a thin thread of fear slipping through her veins.

Elliot half stepped in front of Sam. "I'm Detective Stabler." Elliot flashed his badge then gestured to the small bouquet of flowers in Max's hand. "Who are those for?"

"Uh…no one…" Max sighed and gave Sam an apologetic look. "Actually, they're for you Sam."

"Max…you got me flowers?" Sam didn't know how to feel. In all honesty, it was a little weird.

"What, oh no! They're not from me!" Max waved the flowers back and forth reinforcing his statement.

"Oh." Sam blinked. Elliot saw offense in her eyes and…maybe even disappointment? _"Poor boy."_ Elliot thought. _"Don't ever be that enthusiastic when telling a woman that you did not get her flowers"_

"No! No, that's not what I meant. I would love to get you flowers! I mean…um…what I mean to say…" Max stopped and shook his head in a gesture of defeat.

Sam perked up a little, but became instantly wary. "If they're not from you then who are they from?" Elliot caught the note of apprehension in her voice.

Max's eyes met Sam's and she saw that his normally bright green gaze was darkened with anger and …helplessness? "Sam, I'm sorry. I hoped that you would never find out about this."

"Find out what?" Elliot said a little harshly. He sensed that whatever Max was hiding, it was dangerous. Something that might hurt Sam.

Max turned his gaze to Elliot, sizing him up. Detective Stabler's stance was protective of Sam, but threatening to him. It was amazing how this man pulled off the two very different emotions at once.

"These flowers were sent to your room at the hospital. I happened to be walking by and saw them." Max hedged.

"Happened to be?" Sam asked skeptically.

"Not entirely. I wanted to make sure you were okay…but, I wasn't really surprised to find your bed empty." He paused again, seemingly to choose his next words.

"And?" Elliot prodded.

"And when I was about to leave the room I spotted these on the end table. I picked them up and that's when this fell out." Max finished in a rush, pulling a small rectangular envelope from his pocket.

Elliot reached for the note, but Sam sidestepped his outstretched arm and snatched the paper. Both men saw her read the note. Both men watched as she closed her eyes and wait for the wave of fear to pass. They watched as she steadied herself, regaining control.

Sam handed the paper to Elliot. Steeling himself he saw two small words written in brown ink.

_For Life_

**TBC**

**A/N: Sorry for the emptiness of this chapter. I'll do better next time, I promise. I'll update as soon as I can! Please review!!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: I Will Find Them

**Chapter 10: Too Much To Lose**

**Disclaimer: Only the plot, Sam, and Max are mine. Sadly SVU is not.**

**A/N: Hola! I am in the car right now driving to Pensacola. Any of you from there? Let me tell you 11 hours in the car does not sit well with me. I like cars. I like driving. But I hate the lack of things to do. So I'm writing. Yay!!**

**Anyway, have any of you heard of the show Corner Gas? It's a Canadian comedy show. I love it! It's my new obsession. I plan on writing some fanfic for it soon. If any of you are interested in reading some Corner Gas fic go to the Home tab and click on TV Shows. From there click on Misc. TV Shows. Then type in Corner Gas and hit search.**

**I'm sure there is a less round-a-bout way of doing that, but I'm too damn lazy to find it.**

**So without further stalling…**

**ENJOY MUCH MUCHLY!!**

Sam leaned against the wall, eyes downcast. Elliot was still looking at the strip of paper and Max was shuffling his feet; flowers left to dangle uselessly in his hand.

"Well," Sam said, desperately searching for something to break the silence. "This doesn't change anything."

Max and Elliot looked at her with identical expressions of disbelief.

"What?" Sam asked, anger seeping into her voice.

"This doesn't change anything? Are you kidding?" Elliot snapped before he could catch himself. _'Remember, she's just a kid. She's not going to show that she's scared because she thinks she needs to prove herself._

"No, I'm not kidding." Sam replied icily. "I'm still going after them. They think they are going to intimidate me into submission? Screw them. There's no way in hell they can scare me."

"Sam, think about this." Max jumped in. "These guys are serious."

"No, really?" Sam asked sarcastically. She was unsure of why she was so…_prickly…_all of a sudden. "You want to know something?" Sam glared from Elliot to Max. "I know they're serious. I lived with them for the worser part of my life, so don't tell me that they're serious!"

"I didn't mean…" Max let the sentence trail. He was not good with sensitive subjects like this. _'Yeah, and I want to be a doctor.'_

Elliot was watching her carefully. She was having some internal struggle and Elliot hadn't the faintest idea what it was about…or how to help her with it.

"Sam…" Elliot paused, choosing his words carefully. "I don't know how you're feeling, but we're on your side." He glanced sideways at Max. 'We' might be a strong assumption, but the kid seemed to genuinely care about her. "We want to help you. Don't shut us out…that could be suicide."

Sam knew he was right. She looked up and met his gaze. His eyes were a light blue. They were searing her in their earnest intensity. She knew that he and Max just wanted to help her. They were giving her a lot of leeway. If any of the higher-ups found out about this the detectives' collective asses would be in some seriously scalding water.

She sighed and her eyes found her shoes again. "I can't… let you in." Sam's voice was tight as she tried to explain what would happen if she did. "ZJ was just the beginning. The next in line for the 'throne' is gonna be twenty times worse." She took a deep breath and fixed Elliot with a hard stare. "The only reason I'm not lying in a pine box right now is because ZJ loved me." Sam glanced at Max and saw him grimace slightly.

An odd sort of thrill ran through her. Max was jealous. But what did that mean? Sam pushed aside those thoughts. She was in no capacity to be thinking those kinds of thoughts right now.

Sam took a shuddering breath. "Look, I don't have a home and I don't have a family. I have nowhere to go and no one to turn to. It's lonelier than you can ever imagine." Her shoulders slumped as she bared this one piece of her soul. "Because of what…what they did to me…I can't trust anyone. I can't even trust myself. I mean, I let myself get mixed up in that hell…"

Sam closed her eyes and tried to ignore the embarrassing burn of tears gathering in her eyes. "You have to understand…I didn't know what I was doing. My family…" her voice hitched and she raised her stinging eyes to Elliot. "My family was never a family. I was Cinderella without the happy ending. I let them drive me to the brink of insanity and then past it."

When Sam's eyes met Elliot's he felt like he had been punched in the stomach. The raw emotion swirling in her aqua eyes was overwhelming. Pain, Fear, Rejection, Rage, Loss, Desperation, Grief, but the most heartbreaking of all was the glint of hope. After all she had been through she still clung to the hope that she would have her happy ending.

These emotions and more created a whirling pool of Light and Dark in her eyes and Elliot couldn't help but be sucked in. He felt Max shudder beside him as the full implication of Sam's words hit him.

"I'm strong." Sam continued. "I can take care of myself. But…it's too lonely. I've been alone for so long that it hurts to care." She lifted her glistening eyes to Max. "It's hurts to care about you." She saw Max's eyes widen, but before he could say anything she continued. Turning her grief-filled gaze to Elliot she said, "I don't know how you do it. I don't know how you can love someone without knowing if they love you back."

Sam shook her head and let out a short, humorless laugh. "Even though she does. You know she does, but you keep whatever it is between you. You cling to it. Why? How do you stand it?" Her voice rose and tears spilled down her cheeks.

Elliot stared at Sam speechless. His first reaction was anger. How dare she imply that he…he…

But it was gone before he could fully taste its metallic tang. It was replaced by the sickly sweet taste of embarrassment. She was right. She was _right._ Elliot felt the color leave his face. He struggled to keep his eyes dry.

He loved Olivia. He loved her with all of his heart. But, he could never tell her. He could never be with her. They were partners. There were rules.

As if reading his thoughts Sam spoke up again. "Screw the rules, Elliot!" She realized her slip, but he didn't seem to mind the use of his first name. "There's not enough time for doubt! For second-guessing! For letting sleeping dogs lie! I know that now. Life is too short for that."

Elliot just nodded. He was too stunned to do anything else.

The silence stretched between the three. Anyone walking by would just see three oddly matched people discussing something emotional. A mutual friend in trouble. Or maybe a mutual friend dead. Anything except what they were really talking about. A teenage girl going up against the full power of a pissed off gang and two would-be comrades stunned by her true words.

"So, you see?" Sam stood up straight and swiped a hand over her eyes. "I want nothing more than to ask for your help, but I can't. Going it alone may be suicide, but if you come too…you could die. I couldn't live with myself if you got hurt for my sake. You…all of you…have too much to live for."

Both men looked they were about to argue, but Sam help up her hand and shook her head. "I need air. I'm out for breakfast, detective." She then turned on her heel and walked stiffly out the precinct's doors.

**TBC**

**A/N: Not much action, sorry. Figured I'd give you a little angsty shippiness. I'll update soon. 7/18/08**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: The First Attack

**Chapter 11: The First Attack**

**Disclaimer: SVU characters not mine. I'm just borrowing.**

**A/N: So, I'm thinking of kinda letting go of this story. I'm not sure how much you guys like it, cause hardly anyone is reviewing. I don't usually mind if I get no reviews, but I am bouncing a lot of stories around right now (check 'em out if you want! Just go to my profile! :D) so if I have to give up one…I think this is it. Unless you guys review muchly!!**

**ENJOY!!**

Sam braced herself against the gust of wind that met her as soon as she stepped out of the precinct. She looked up to see the sky was a dark swirling mass of angry clouds. _'Jeez.' _She thought. _'Another storm?' _she shivered involuntarily. It seemed that a lot of the bad things happened to her during a storm. The incident at the hospital flashed though her mind before she could push it away.

"No." she whispered aloud and pushed her fist into her left temple. She refused to think about that. Instead she tried to focus on the main problem; break it down. _'Alright…first things first.' _ She shoved her hands into her pockets and bowed her head as the wind kicked up. _'Who would be next in line as leader?' _

An image of a large, tattoo-ed, bald man flashed in her mind's eye. _'Gardner.' _ The son-of-a-bitch that had suggested they rape and beat her so she would never break. Never be weak. That bastard was twenty seven years old, 6'7, and weighing in at nearly 400 pounds. He wasn't all fat, but not all muscle either. Just the right size and weight to be absolutely terrifying. She had known him for the better part of three years, but she had seen no discernible weakness in him.

Nothing. He was so much worse than ZJ. As far in the way of gang leaders…ZJ was downright genial. He was ruthless, though. He had a quick temper and a mean spirit, but he had a chivalrous side to him. That's what made him such a cunning leader. He could charm anyone into being his best friend…then stab them in the back the next second. Literally.

But, when ZJ had learned of her past he had taken her under his wing. He had a background very similar to hers and had sort of…empathized with her. He had fallen for her and she had forced herself into some twisted semblance of love for him. It had kept her alive for three years. If not for ZJ, she would have been beaten, raped, and left for dead. Or outright killed. So, as bad as he was…he had a naïve streak in him. Had a gentle streak. Albeit a small one…but he had protected her from a lot. Mostly things that the others members tried to do…but, sometimes what outsiders did.

"Outsiders? Godammit! They're the outsiders!" Sam grumbled to herself angrily. When Gardner's face swam into her mind again she cursed aloud. "Gardner…I swear I'll make you burn in hell."

"Will you now?" a husky voice came from somewhere to her right. Sam felt a meaty hand clamp over her mouth, but she ducked and took several steps away. She watched as a hulking figure moved out of the shadows, partially revealing the vicious man of her previous thoughts.

"Speak of the devil." Sam gasped through strained vocal cords. She tried to keep the anxiety out of her voice and fear from her expression, but she was failing miserably. Gardner looked bigger then she remembered and without ZJ…there was nothing to stop him from killing her.

Or worse.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Max watched Sam stride through the precinct's doors. She held her head high, but there was a certain loneliness in the way she held her body. Like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. But there was also a feral awareness about her as well. She was ready to attack at any moment.

"Should we go after her?" He asked the detective who had introduced himself as "Stabler."

The man looked back at him. His blue eyes were hard, but they looked lost at the same time. Max was once again amazed at how the detective managed to pull off the two very different emotions. _'I wonder if he does it a lot.' _Max thought absentmindedly.

"You should go home. This is a police matter." Detective Stabler spoke sternly, but his eyes were fixed on the doors that had only just swung shut.

"But…the way she was talking—," But the detective interrupted Max.

"Look, Max, right?" Max nodded. "I don't know what your relationship to Sam is, but this is police business. She is a victim and key witness for a gang's activity. I'm going to have to ask that you leave her alone."

Even thought the man had said "ask," Max knew he was telling. The man intimidated Max, sure, but he couldn't just _forget_ about Sam. Max met the detective's eyes and knew he had no choice to agree. He made a noncommittal noise, put the flowers on the desk sergeants' desk and headed for the door.

He had just reached out his hand when the gun shots rang out.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Elliot stared stunned at the place where Sam was just standing. She had seen right through him. For years, Elliot had played the part of the caring partner and nothing more. He had always thought that he put on a convincing show. Now, he worried if anyone else knew.

The kid asked him a question. It took Elliot a minute to process the words. The boy wanted to know if they should follow her. _'Yes!' _Elliot wanted to scream, but he couldn't get the kid involved. He wasn't much older than Sam.

Elliot told him that Sam was a victim and a witness. He laughed inwardly at what Sam might have said had she heard him call her a victim. She wouldn't be happy. He told 'Max' that the police had to handle it and that he should go home. Max looked like he wanted to refuse, but, instead, mumbled something and dropped the flowers on the desk.

Elliot made to follow him. No way was he letting Sam out of his sight. Some of the most dangerous people in New York were out for this girl and he didn't even know where to start looking for them. Sam hadn't told them anything yet. Not the gang's name or her life before the game.

Elliot was right behind Max when he heard the gun shots.

And people began to scream.

**TBC**

**A/N: Sorry, it's a short chapter! More to come soon! R&R! 7/29/08**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Unneeded Rescue

**Chapter 12: Unneeded Rescue**

**Disclaimer: What's mine is mine. What's not should be.**

**A/N: Thank you very much for the reviews guys!! My ego is starting to feel better! Thanks!!**

**WARNING!! Story gets a tiny bit graphic in the upcoming fight. Reader discretion advised.**

**So onto what you guys actually want to read (not my A/N)…**

**ENJOY!!**

Sam's blood roared in her ears. She had managed to dodge the first two bullets, but the third had nicked her left shoulder. Blood wasn't gushing so it hadn't hit any major arteries, but it hurt like hell. _'But,'_ she thought. _'It isn't nearly as painful as my last gunshot wound.'_ She almost laughed out lout at that last thought. Sixteen years old and she can use the phrase 'as my last gunshot wound.' _'I can't believe I've been shot more than once.'_

Sam ducked and spun as another bullet whizzed past her ear.

"Damn."

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Max froze hand on the door handle. That couldn't have been a gunshot, right? He had lived in New York all his life and he's never seen anyone killed nor has he heard a gunshot. He could be wrong…

But, he wasn't. He heard people screaming. He also heard Detective Stabler begin shouting orders behind him.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

Elliot's heart jumped in his throat. There was no mistaking the blast of gun powder. And there was no way that it was a coincidence someone fired a gun just minutes after Sam left the building.

"Sergeant! Bring this boy into the squad room. Put him in interrogation 4. Get Olivia, Munch, and Fin down here now!" Elliot shouted to the desk sergeant. Many officers had drawn their guns and were racing for the doors when Elliot stopped them.

"Crowd control only, people! Don't interfere with the shooter and his target!" Elliot knew how ridiculous that order was. It went against everything they were trained to do. Many of the officers looked stunned and confused. Others look mutinous.

Elliot's eyes darkened and drew himself up to his full 6'3 height. "If any of you do not follow my orders I will personally see to it that you are never able to work again. Now move!" Elliot shoved them out the door. The sergeant had taken Max upstairs and he could see Olivia, Munch, and Fin running towards him.

Elliot turned on his heel and bolted outside. People were running down the street away from the attack. Elliot was jostled this way and that and a chill ran through him. This reminded him too much of Gitano and the incident at the bus station where he had almost lost Olivia. _'Never again.' _Elliot promised shoving his way through the crowd. He heard the other three detectives shouting "Police!" and "Out of the way!"

The crowd was beginning to thin in one area and he headed for it. Up ahead something roared. _'No, not something…someone!'_ Elliot thought.

A man was screaming in rage; taunting. "For life, girly! Once you're in, you'll never get out!"

Elliot pushed through the last group of people and the sight that greeted him was one of the most chilling he had ever seen. A man, no, a monster of a man was swinging a gun about. He had to be 6'6 or 6'7, tattoos all over his body, shaved head…big. Big. Big. Big.

The man was massive. At least 400 pounds of fat and muscle.

And across from him, keeping no safe distance was thin, willowy Sam. She looked miniscule next to him. Miniscule…and easily broken.

"Elliot!" Olivia was next to him. "Her shoulder! Look!"

Elliot switched his gaze from the monster to Sam's left shoulder. Blood was soaking her light blue top. It was dripping down her arm, back, and abdomen in thick, spiderweb-like tendrils. But her eyes were on fire and her face showed no sign that she felt any pain.

"You son of a bitch! You won't touch me ever again!" Sam growled.

"Tut tut! It's not me that wants you. My gun does. It wants _you_," he gestured towards the lower half of her body. "All over it."

Elliot's blood boiled. How dare he say something like that! He felt Olivia stiffen beside him. Munch and Fin were behind him keeping curios onlookers back.

"Bastard." Sam hissed and dodged to her right as the beast fired another shot. It just missed her hip. "Coward!" Sam screamed lunging for him. Instead of going for his body, she swung an open hand at his gun arm. Elliot expected her to grab the gun, but in one swift motion she knocked it out of his hand and twisted his arm behind his back; shoving him face first into the side of a brick building. Just as swiftly she backed away and snatched the gun off the ground.

"Coward." She repeated this time in a taunting tone. "This is a cowards' weapon." She pointed the gun at the man. Tilting her head she raised the gun to point right between his eyes. "All I have to do is pull this little trigger and your skull is smashed into oblivion."

"She wouldn't…" Olivia breathed grabbing Elliot's elbow.

"I think she would." Elliot whispered back. He was transfixed by the scene unfolding in front of him.

"You are one hundred times stronger than me, yet you fear me enough to bring a gun." Sam taunted. "Well, I am not afraid of you." Sam released the magazine and threw it at the detectives' feet.

Olivia picked it up and stared in amazement at Elliot. "She just threw away her only weapon." Elliot stared back at her and just nodded his astonishment.

Sam threw the barrel of the gun as far as she could into the alley. "I've learned a lot over the last few years, Gardner." Sam began walking in a circle. Gardner followed suit. "Most of it from you."

"Bullshit girly." Gardner rushed at her, but Sam easily sidestepped his lumbering figure.

"All that fat is making you slow, Gardner." Sam laughed as he made for her again and tripped over his own feet. "You are nothing." Sam ducked his swinging arm and landed a well-placed elbow into his right kidney. Spinning around, Sam kicked him hard in the kneecap. She was rewarded with a resounding crack.

Gardner didn't fall. Instead he swung his right arm behind him and caught Sam hard across the face. She went flying backwards and landed on a metal garbage can.

"Olivia!" Elliot called as Olivia ran from his side to the fallen girl. He ran after her catching up only when they reached Sam. Her eyes were open and full of hate.

"Get out of my way." Sam hissed low in her throat and jumped cat-like to her feet.

"But, you're hurt!" Olivia said.

"No, I'm not! Duck!" Sam grabbed both detectives and pulled them to the ground. A large meaty arm swung where their heads just were. Sam saw Gardner stumble. She saw him start to fall towards the detectives on the ground.

"Oh, no you don't!" Sam launched herself at him. She was nowhere near strong enough to knock him completely off balance, but her moment and adrenaline infused strength were enough to send them both careening in the opposite direction.

"That's enough!" Sam screamed viciously and slammed her foot into his jaw. Another crack. Gardner howled and lunged for Sam. She stepped into his attack and grabbed him by the throat. Shoving her foot under his ankle she pushed backwards and he felt.

Sam tried to stay upright, but he grabbed onto her arm and she fell on top of him. Wrapping his left arm around her torso he pinned her to him, with her arms stuck underneath her. His right hand reached for the top of her jeans.

"No!" Sam howled as he fiddled with the button. She kicked her foot out and jammed it into his already broken knee while simultaneously biting down on his ample neck. He howled in pain and released her. Sam backed away, breathing hard, tears streaming down her face.

"Bastard." Even though she whispered it, the venom and murder that one word seemed to echo over the streets. Elliot felt Olivia shiver beside him. Reaching out a hand he grasped hers. She clutched it in return. They both knew what was going to happen.

Sam walked to where Gardner lay on the ground. Crouching down behind his head she whispered so only he could hear. "Give ZJ this for me." And with every bit of strength she had she pulled his head up and twisted it violently. She heard his neck snap and she felt his body go limp.

"Shit." Sam looked at the dead face of the man. The man she had killed.

Bile rose in her throat and she heard the detectives calling her name as she sank into darkness.

**TBC**

**A/N: Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: One Lucky Kid

**Chapter 13: One Lucky Kid**

**Disclaimer: Some mine, some not. Damn.**

**A/N: So, yay!! My stories are doing well!! **

**BTW: Sorry, I'm pimping my other stories. If you guys like House, please read my story "Close." And if you guys like it, leave a review! But, no flames please…my ego is just starting to crawl back out of it's hiding place.**

**Anyway, I hope you guys liked the last chapter and to be perfectly honest…I'm not totally sure where I'm going with this story. I mean, I usually don't have any idea where I'm going with a story until I actually get there…so it's not a big deal. Just let me know if I get…too out there. More than usual anyway.**

**So…**

**ENJOY!!**

'_Earthquake.' _ That was Sam's first conscious thought. _'But…in Manhattan? I don't think so.'_ Yes, the ground was shaking, but no way it was an earthquake, right? _'No, wait…the ground isn't shaking…I am. I'm on a stretcher!'_

"No… wait…" Sam had meant for her protest to come out strong and loud. Instead it was whispered and broken. Her throat was killing her. _'Tube.'_ The word floated in her head. Sam coughed, trying to forcibly hack it out, but it wasn't budging.

She grabbed hold of one of the EMT's wrists, trying to get his attention. He looked down and, seeing the look of anger and panic on her face, yelled to another EMT.

"She's conscious! Breathing on her own! Get the tube out!"

"Cough!" A different voice ordered.

"I was." Sam muttered, but she couldn't talk audibly around the tube.

"Cough!" The first EMT repeated the order.

Sam coughed hard and the tube slid out with the help of the second EMT. Raising a hand to wipe the spit the tube had flung on her face she turned her aqua eyes to the first EMT.

"Stop." Her voice was commanding, but raspy.

"I don't think so little lady." The EMT wasn't looking at her, but straight ahead. "Load her in!"

Sam felt the stretcher being lifted into the ambulance. "I don't think so." Sam sat bolt upright and grabbed the collar of the first EMT. His name tag said Rogers. _'Last name.'_ Sam thought.

"Whoa, hey there--!" The EMT glanced over at her, still holding his side of the stretcher. His eyes were a deep brown that glowed warmly. He couldn't be more than twenty years old. _'Probably an EMT student.'_ Sam thought idly.

He gave her a confused smile and squinted his eyes at her. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fine." Sam gave him a calculating look and pulled him closer.

He sat her stretcher down inside the ambulance and shook his head. "Detective Stabler said you'd say that." He sighed and grasped her hands that were still clutching his collar. His hands were warm and surprisingly gentle. When his eyes met hers they were understanding and genial. "You're not fine. You've been shot and…from what I hear…dealt with some pretty disturbing things."

When Sam didn't respond he shook his head again, looking resigned. "Detective Stabler left the decision up to you. I can patch up your shoulder; it's not a serious wound. But, as for your mental duress…I'd recommend you see a shrink."

Sam smiled humorlessly. "I'm fine. Please, just fix my shoulder as best you can. I can't go to the hospital…I don't have a very good, uh…" Sam paused raising her eyebrows. "Reputation there."

The EMT laughed. "Yes, we know about your little stunt." He met her gaze. "Alright. It's your call." He took a deep breath and pulled her hands from his shirt. "Now, lie back and let me patch you up." He gently pushed her down. Taking a scissor, he cut the strap of her tank top and gently pulled it away from the wound. "Sorry."

"It doesn't hurt." Sam lied. In reality, her shirt had gotten caught in the clotted blood on the wound. He had been gentle, but it still hurt like hell. "Just…hurry, kay?"

"Right." Rogers smiled. "This is gonna hurt." His smile turned to a slight grimace.

"Try me." Sam laughed. Her laughter turned to a slight gasp when Rogers swabbed the wound with alcohol and began to stitch it up. "What, no anesthesia?" She meant it as a joke, but it came out a little strangled.

"I'm sorry. Topical wouldn't help in this situation and knocking you out is not an option if you want this over quickly. Try and think about something else." He pulled the needle through her skin again.

"Right." Sam nodded and turned her head away from Rogers, looking around the interior of the ambulance thinking of anything, but what had just happened. The other EMT was outside talking to Elliot, Olivia, Munch, and Fin. Probably explaining her lack of cooperation. _'Great.'_

"Penny for your thoughts?" Rogers asked quietly, apparently concentrating on his work.

"Aw, damn." Sam snapped the fingers on her right hand jokingly. "I had just managed to concentrate on something else."

Rogers chuckled. "Sorry."

"Yeah." Sam smiled. Furrowing her brow she turned her head to look at him. "What's your first name, Rogers?"

"Daniel." He replied, now taping gauze over her shoulder. "And you, Miss Maitland, are done."

"Thanks, Rogers." Sam said, sitting up. The severed strap of her tank top hung limply down from her shoulder. "Damn. I really liked this shirt."

"My fault. Sorry." Rogers smiled good-naturedly.

"Yeah, well, you should be." Sam looked down and the smile left her face. "Look, thank you for doing this. I know you're really not supposed to do that."

Rogers nodded. "My pleasure. And," he handed her a square piece of cardboard. "Here's my card. My cell number is on there too."

When Sam raised her eyebrow Rogers laughed nervously and backtracked slightly. "Uh, that didn't come out right."

"Oh?" Sam replied taking the card and adjusting her shirt so it covered her bra.

"Um…what I meant was…if you don't want the hassle of dealing with a hospital…call my, uh, cell." Rogers rubbed the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly.

Sam smiled. "Will do. Thanks." She hopped down from the stretcher and giving Rogers a wave went to stand next to Olivia.

"Sam!" the detective exclaimed, surprised. "I didn't expect you to be up and around so…uh, soon." Olivia was staring at her with a worried gaze.

"Yeah, well, so much to do, so little time." Sam gave her a reassuring smile.

The four detectives didn't find the humor in her statement. A chilling thought suddenly occurred to her.

"You guys don't have to arrest me, do you?" Sam looked at the ground, and then slowly lifted her gaze to meet the detectives'.

Munch took a deep breath. "No, we don't. We have a ton of witnesses who all confirm that you were attacked first and only, um," Munch cleared his throat. "Killed out of self-defense."

Sam didn't flinch at his choice of words. "Okay, so…now what?"

"We want you to speak with a friend of ours." Elliot said, starting to walk back to the precinct. They followed.

"You mean you want my head shrunk." Sam looked at them skeptically. They hesitated for a second, but nodded. "Right. Normally, I would raise hell saying no…but, it actually sounds like it could be a good idea."

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Olivia glanced at Elliot and shrugged her shoulders. She had been expecting Sam to protest, but she remembered how she felt after her first and only killing. Shuddering, she wondered how Sam was holding up so well. _'Probably because that man tortured her for three years.'_ Olivia reminded herself.

Elliot's thoughts were running along the same line. He remembered the first time he shot to kill…he was a mess afterward. Sam seemed practically normal. Yes, there was a certain heaviness in her eyes and her step was a little unstable…but she'd been through a hell of a lot. Shot again, she'd been in a hell of a fight. She must be dead tired. She had also come very close to being…raped.

Elliot flinched at his own thoughts. He would never have let it get that far. He would have murdered the bastard if Sam hadn't acted as effectively as she had.

Munch studied the girl out of the corner of his eye. Elliot and Olivia had had much more interaction with her than himself and Fin. The girl was a regular badass. He had seen what she did to that massive man. Also, the way she was walking away from it, with her head up high…it was nothing short of miraculous.

Fin was also watching the kid carefully. She was walking tall and strong, but there was a slight hitch in her step. She may have pulled a muscle in the fight. _'And what a fight it was.' _Fin couldn't help but admire her a little. He himself would have been…hesitant… about fighting that thing. And he may not have even been able fair as well as she did.

She was one lucky kid.

**TBC**

**A/N: No action sorry. Just wanted to square things away with the aftermath…sort of. Please R&R.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Rubbing Salt in the Wound

**Chapter 14: Rubbing Salt in the Wound**

**Disclaimer: What belongs to me, does…what doesn't, I covet.**

**A/N: Death to School!! I should devote something to my despise for it…hmmm.**

**ENJOY!!**

"Can you please tell me your name?" Dr. George Huang, FBI psychiatrist-behavioral-science-profiler extraordinaire. _'Or at least that's what they told me.'_ Sam thought idly. Truth was, she had seen this guy mentioned in newspapers before. He was some sort of genius when it came to shrinking heads. Sam could see why. The guy radiated quiet calmness. She had the feeling that she could say that she thought she was a rabid purple opossum people-eater with pointy ears that just wanted to be a dentist/psychic…and Dr. George Huang wouldn't bat an eye.

He just looked at you with this expression that seemed to say, "I won't judge you." And "I understand." That's why the man was a regular prodigy. He made the suspect or victim feel completely at ease. And when they're completely at ease, people have a tendency to talk. Dr. George Huang made you want to talk.

And right now, Sam didn't care. She didn't want to fight. She wanted to talk. _'Lord knows I've been quiet long enough'_

"Can you please tell me your name?" The good doctor repeated, not looking the least bit impatient. _'Languid.'_ Was the only word to describe his speech and movement.

"Samantha Maitland." Sam recited. "But I prefer Sam."

"Yes." He smiled kindly. "I've been told."

"Which makes me wonder…" Sam leaned back in a non-aggressive manner. "Just what you've been told, exactly."

Dr. Huang smiled again. "Not much, actually." To his credit, he sounded sincere. "Why don't you help fill in the blanks?" He was expecting her to give him a song and dance.

"Have you got a few hours?" Sam sighed and scrubbed a hand over her face.

"I've got as much time as you need." Dr. Huang replied soothingly. He steepled his hands and studied her with a soft, but shrewd gaze.

"Okay." Sam took a deep breath. "I know the whole doctor-patient relationship thing, but…Doc, what I'm gonna tell you is basically everything the detectives want from me, so it would help a lot if you could just relay everything for me."

The doctor nodded and continued to study her. "Thank you. Okay, I guess…here does nothing." Sam inhaled slowly and exhaled at the same pace.

"Are you alright?" Dr. Huang asked, genuine concern in his tone.

"Yeah, it's just…" Sam voice hitched and the tears she had fought so hard to hold back for years began to gather in her eyes causing her vision to sparkle and run. "I've tried so hard to forget _everything_…that's happened. My parents…my _new family_." Sam laughed cruelly at herself.

George Huang watched Sam fight to keep her tears at bay. He knew it was a losing battle, but considering the weight of what he was about to hear…he assumed those tears were not in self-pity. From what the detectives had told him (which really wasn't a lot) he knew that the girl was tough. She didn't crack under pressure and she wasn't much in the 'sharing' department. But, she was just waiting to unravel. She wasn't breaking, she wasn't weak…just over-burdened. Sam just needed the right person to talk to.

"I'm sure that you guys know who my parents are by now. Even if you haven't told me." Sam waited and continued when Huang nodded. "My mother Josephine Maitland was a pathetic ex pageant girl. She married my father for his money. She had a taste for the expensive stuff. Pearls, silk pantsuits, professional updos, acrylic nails painted in red lacquer." With each word the contempt in her voice grew and she didn't bother to try and monitor it.

"My mother was content to ride my father's coattails for all eternity." Sam continued. "She couldn't think for herself. But, she had a mean streak. She had the most vicious, animalistic smile that she used when she watched my--," Sam broke off suddenly, eyes widening. Her hand jumped to her mouth and she looked guiltily at Huang.

George knew that her reaction was automatic; she hadn't thought about what she was doing when she stopped short. She had been conditioning herself for years never to tell the whole truth. Huang didn't take her abruptness personally; he knew better than that. Something had happened to her when she was younger and she had been working overtime to try and forget it ever since.

"Sam?" he asked quietly. He smiled softly at her, giving her time to breathe. "Take your time."

Sam nodded and her eyes dropped to the floor. Her hand dropped into her lap and twisted with the other. She took a deep breath and held it as she pulled her jacket tighter around her. Well, not her jacket…Elliot had let her borrow his "off-duty" jacket on account of her shirt being ripped and bloody.

Still not meeting Huang's eyes, Sam continued. "I'm an only child. Actually, I was a mistake to begin with and my parents had no trouble reminding me of that. They always thought they would have been better off if they had just terminated my mother's pregnancy, but in a moment of weakness…they didn't. My dad was a corporate hot-shot before he retired early when I was ten." Hesitating for a second she looked up, finally looking straight at Huang. "My mother was never faithful. She always had some guy on the side. My father knew, but he didn't care…he liked …younger women." Sam quirked her eyebrow in a gesture of humorless irony. "Girls, to be exact."

Huang nodded and made a note in his notebook. Glancing back up, he saw that her eyes were glistening with tears again. In a sudden wave of realization, Huang jerked involuntarily forward. He dropped his pen and notebook on a side table.

"Samantha, have you told the detectives?" Huang interlocked his hands in front of him and narrowed his eyes calculatingly at her.

Sam hung her head. "No." her voice was choked with a hidden sob. "I can't."

"Because you're embarrassed?"

"No." she shook her head miserably. "Because the statute of limitations was up last year. When I was fifteen."

Huang cocked his head. "I was told that you joined the gang when you were thirteen. That would also mean that that was the last time you saw your parents…and that was only three years ago. The statute of limitations on rape in New York is five years."

Sam flinched at his bluntness, but she appreciated it all the same. "I know. Dear old dad only…did that to me once. It was the night after he retired. He was angry that I hadn't congratulated him. He told me he would make me appreciate him and his _"sizeable"_ advantage over the competitors."

Dr. Huang nodded, but inside he was fuming. But, as a professional psychiatrist he had been trained to keep a calm demeanor no matter what he heard. But…what a thing to say to your child! Your daughter!

"Samantha, I am very sorry." Huang struggled to keep his voice low and even.

Sam smiled. "I appreciate that, but…it was a long time ago. I've…I've put it behind me." Sam nodded with pseudo-conviction. When Huang gave her a look that showed he hadn't bought it Sam sighed. "Mostly."

"Tell me what happened the day you ran away." He phrased it as a statement, but Sam knew that she had the choice to stay quiet.

"My dad videotaped the…incident when I was ten. He made copies of it and hid them away where I couldn't find them. I knew that he had the "boys" over for poker and beer every Saturday night…I'm pretty sure that he showed them the tape at least once."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, that day I ran away…" Sam shoved her hair behind her ears and leaned forward looking at the floor. "Three of his "guys" came over looking for my parents. They argued and it got bad. They beat my mother, tortured her, and left her lying naked on the kitchen floor. They made my father watch. The last thing I saw before I ran out the front door was my father getting shoved up against the wall, a gun pressed to his throat."

Sam paused, clenching and unclenching her fists. "The last thing I heard was one of them shouting that the kid was getting away and," Sam met Huang's gaze. Her eyes were devoid of tears and, instead, full of fury. "And that if I was caught…I was to be shot on site. No questions asked."

Sam watched something flit through the doctor's eyes, but it was gone before she could identify it. He sat back and regarded her with that softly shrewd gaze that Sam was beginning to think of as his trademark. He seemed to be deciding if what he needed to say, should be said. Sam decided to do him one better.

"Look, I don't know what happened to them. I don't know their names, didn't see their faces, and wouldn't recognize their voices. I didn't report it to the police because ZJ and the others found me before I got my head wrapped around it. I couldn't get away from them, so in a…naïve effort to get them to let me go, I told them what happened and what I was running from. ZJ was the only one who didn't laugh. Apparently, he went through something similar as a kid."

Sam stopped, seemingly to catch her breath. Huang waited for her to continue. He wasn't disappointed. "I'll also assume that you're wondering why this little incident didn't come up when you checked out who my parents were. My dad, even though he is retired, he's still a corporate bigwig. So were the guys who attacked them. You won't find a report or any other kind of record about the attack because there isn't one. They buried it three years ago. My parents aren't gonna talk and the attackers definitely aren't either."

Huang nodded, picked up his notebook and wrote something else in it. A minute later he looked up. He opened his mouth, but Sam cut across him.

"No, I haven't said anything to Elliot or Olivia, but I'm sure you'll tell them everything I just said." Sam smiled at him, hoping she hadn't sounded accusatory. "Please, don't misunderstand me…I want you to tell them."

"Why?" Huang asked after a moment's pause.

"Because I'm not one to repeat myself?" Sam tried.

"Sam."

Sam puffed out her cheeks and rolled her eyes. "Because telling one person is hard enough. I'm not ready to walk out there and tell an entire squad what happened a lifetime ago." To her immense relief, the doctor nodded.

"Alright." He narrowed his eyes at her again. "If you ever need to talk about anything—"

"I know where to find you." Sam stood up and shoved her hands in Elliot's jacket's pockets. "Besides, the detectives probably have you on speed dial." Sam gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Dr. Huang."

Huang stood up and nodded his head. "You're welcome." He held out his hand. Sam took it and was slightly surprised when she felt herself relax at his touch. Damn, this doctor was good.

Sam headed for the door that would lead back into the precinct. She and Huang had been talking in the precinct's bunks. She stopped when her hand touched the doorknob. "Oh! I almost forgot!" she whipped around and caught Huang's eyes again.

"What?" Huang furrowed his brow and took a few hurried steps toward her, worried.

"The gang. I…I don't know their name." Sam glanced at him sheepishly and, seeing a surprised look on his face, shrugged. "I wasn't an integral member of it. I was "ZJ's girl." That's how they all referred to me. I never went on any of their…nightly activities. They didn't tell me anything."

When Huang looked thoughtfully into space, Sam stepped in again. "Look, it wouldn't matter even id I could tell you. They are huge…the gang, the whole gang is bigger than even I can imagine. I'm pretty sure they stretch past the tri-state area."

"And you plan to kill them all?" Huang looked at her skeptically.

Sam grinned. "Ah, no." she shook her head. "I can't say that. That would mean if I did happen to kill any of them…it would be premeditated." Huang gave her a small smile despite wanting to keep a cool expression. "Besides, I think the whole gang is kind of…cordoned off from each other. In sections. I'm not even a blip on any of the other section's radars. We just have to deal with our…section." Sam frowned at her lack of better word choice.

"Right." Huang said, frowning slightly. Taking a deep breath he opened the door and held it for her.

"Thanks." Sam ducked her head as she stepped out.

"Do you want to be there when I inform the detectives?" Huang asked following her down the stairs.

Sam hesitated on the last step, then turned around. "No, that's okay. I have a, uh…friend to deal with in Interrogation 4." With that Sam turned, walked past all four detectives without meeting their eyes and into the interrogation room.

**TBC**

**A/N: No action, mucho apologies! Please R&R!**


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